Coach Kreeton, are we gonna
be able to play hoops today? No! Line up! Today, you’re gonna learn
how to wrestle. [moaning] We don’t want to wrestle. Why do we have to? ‘Cause I’m Coach Kreeton,
and I think it’s time for you sorry lazy kids to learn how to wrestle. What evil degenerate
had Coach Kreeton this chamber of miserable memories! [screaming] [groaning] I need a volunteer so I can demonstrate
the correct way to wrestle. Let me see. No. Uh-uh, you! – Me?
– Yeah. Come here. Wrestle! Hey! [groaning] Boo! Ha-ha! In your face! Ah, watch out now. Ow! Ow! Ow, my foot! Ow! [cheering] Did I win? No, you crazy foot-stomping demon! I was hoping you could share some
nuggets of wisdom with the team. OK, I can share some nuggets. For your little tiny
thought-thinking brains. Win… at all costs. But if the other team wins, we still get the joy of
coming in second place, right? Oh, no, no, no, no, no! You’re full of wrong. See, second place is first loser. Oh Coach Kreeton, we don’t like to use
the word ‘loser’ here, we prefer ‘non-winner’. Ha-ha! Well, that’s too bad,
’cause look here. They don’t give prizes
to little pitiful losers. You. Come here. Now, try to get Coach Kreeton
down on the ground. OK. You won’t be able to do it,
I’m too strong. Too strong. Too strong. Too strong. Too strong. Bring it! Ah, oh! [screaming] [laughing] Get off me, crazy!
Get off me! [screaming] Oh, my rib cage is a memory. All you crazy wombats upset me
in ways I can’t understand. You told us to get you
down on the ground. Did we win? The only thing you win is
a one-way ticket to Crazy Land. I’m terrible at basketball. He’s never made one basket! Do you have any tips? Oh yeah, I got a tip. Throw me a ball, come on. [groaning] What? I didn’t say everyone throw a ball
at me, you misguided demons! I’m a man! You don’t throw basketballs at me
like I was some kind of crazy hoop-de-hoop! The life I live is sad. All I want is a normal child to come and wrestle Coach Kreeton. That’s all I want. That’s all I need! Can’t somebody help me? Hey, hey, this is no time to be
going in your locker hole, you rude hippie! I’m just getting my extreme
hydrating sports energy drink. Boy, you can use your sports
hydrating energy drink when Coach Kreeton is
done speech talking! Alright? Now close the locker shut! And keep it shut! – Sorry.
– Yeah, you better– [screaming] Open it! Open it up! But you said to keep it closed
until you were done speech– Boy, if you don’t open it up,
you hooligan! Open it! [sobbing] Ow! Oh, my finger hand. Oh, the pain is extreme! Here, this rock hard bag of ice will help. Go easy on me, Coach Kreeton,
’cause I’ve never wrestled before. [laughing] Good. Wrestle! Where you going, Coach? [moaning] Ah! Quit it! You win! Looks like Coach Kreeton
is victorious again! Let’s have a V for victory! [screaming] Ha! OK guys, it’s almost game time. So let’s remember the most
important thing is to… Have fun! What? No, no, no! The most important thing
is to destroy the other team. But be thoughtful and kind. [laughing] Be aggressive and ruthless. But remember their human beings
with feelings and emotions too. You know what? That’s it.
Kill ’em! Kill ’em all! We just want to play fair. – And make friends.
– Yeah, it’s just a game. Yeah, yeah, you know what? Y’all are saying things that
my ears can’t understand, OK? That’s what’s going on right now.
That’s what’s going on. You know what? Coach Kreeton
ain’t never got no prize for having fun times
or hanging out with friends. You know what?
I’m taking all these prizes. ‘Cause y’all don’t deserve it! You know what?
I’m getting up and I’m getting ’em. I said I’m going up. I said I’m going up. [screaming] [groaning] [screaming] You just started something! [screaming] I gotta go to the bathroom. Excuse me. [cheering] [buzzer] Oh, game time, guys!
Now let’s go out there and win! Or not. Whatever! – Yeah!
– Either way, we’re all getting trophies. – Right?
– You know it! [screaming] Oh, you crazy kids!
Oh, what did you eat? What did you–
Oh! Oh! Hey! Oh, the life I live is sad.